caffetteria

just found this text document - apparently it’s the result of a colour test i did way back in 2002 and yet it’s still quite true today…

Your Existing Situation
Sensitive; needs esthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm intimacy.

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation.
The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are.

Your Desired Objective
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.

Your Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments

i’ve been spending more time on twitter than actually blogging. LOL kinda sad i know… but it’s like MSN on a global scale… and if you have friends who are overseas, it’s like a free SMS system that at the same time allows you to keep updated on what they’re doing…

anyway, my italian classes are on hold for two months coz my teacher went home for her holidays (and so we gave ourselves one too!) and will only be back in august… which is good! =D in a year’s time, i would have finished the gamut of courses that is available in the school (level 1 - 4)… imagine that… more than a year ago the only italian words i knew were those related to food… and now i can somewhat understand songs, books and magazines! =)

if you have been following my twitter and flickr (love how both of them rhymes in a geeky way) you would have seen that i went to ipoh and penang for a week-long holiday just early this month… which was great fun i must say… ATE ALOT in ipoh… three girls had to navigate ard penang ourselves in the hot, hot weather… but overall it was a good holiday that i didn’t plan to have.. ahahahah

and if my italian classmates’ plans to go rawa island go through.. then i’ll be going to malaysia again this august… LOL i’m supposed to be saving more for europe - happening in 1 year and 3 months time (cheap thrill countdown…  kekekeke) but i’m really keen on rawa happening because i’ve seen both my italian teacher’s and my german friend’s photos (ROFLOL to the latter - private joke)… it is really a gorgeous, gorgeous place filled wif white sand and the clear waters of the sea… okay i’m not too keen on the sea creatures in the sea.. but i’ll grab any opportunity to nua~! my german friend calls me a lazy bum… hahahahahah…

i love the tune of this song by Laura Pausini… soothing but the lyrics is quite sad and pensive actually.

Italiano

Ascolta,
prima che esci
che sbatti quella porta e te ne vai
e va bene, ma quante scene che fai,
che questa guarda, che la conosco ormai
e poi io non lo so, chi c’ha ragione oppure no
ma che son guai se te ne vai
questo lo so
e so anche che
ci basta un giorno a me e a te,
poi torni tu o vengo io
ma non è un addio

quanto non sai, quanto non sai di un mondo dentro
che non hai
quanto non sai di me
quanto vorrei, quanto vorrei quel sentimento
che per me non hai provato mai

e adesso, cosa pretendi, se prendi la tua roba e te ne vai
che mi arrendo
se tu ti offendi lo sai
che con l’orgoglio non si può amare mai

e poi io non lo so
chi c’ha ragione oppure no
ma che son guai se te ne vai
questo lo so
e so anche che ci basta un giorno a me e a te
poi torni tu o vengo io
ma non è un addio

di star male quindi no
appender l’anima a un telefono
non mi va
insomma dai
resta qua….

quanto non sai,
quanto non sai di un mondo dentro che non hai
quanto non sai di me
quanto vorrei, quanto vorrei quel sentimento
che per me non hai provato mai

quanto non sai di me
quanto vorrei, quanto vorrei quel sentimento
che per me non hai provato mai

ascolta
prima che esci,
ripensa solo a chi eravamo noi.

English

Listen, before that you go out
that you slam that door and you shall go
and it is well, but how many scenes that you do
that this it sees, that it I know already
and then I don’t know who is right or no
but that it is woe if you go
this I know
and I know also that
it is enough a day to me and to you
then you return yourself or I come myself
but there is not a goodbye

How much you don’t know,
how much you don’t know of a world behind
that you don’t have
How much you don’t know of me
How much I would want, how much I would want that feeling
that for me you did not try/feel never

And now what you demand, if you take your stuff and you go
that I surrender
if you yourself offend you know
that with the pride you cannot love ever

And then I don’t know myself
who is right or no
but that it is woe if you go
this I know
and I know also that
it is enough a day to me and to you
then you return yourself or I come myself
but there is not a goodbye

To feel sick therefore no
hang up the soul to a mobile
I do not feel like
words from
still here…

How much you don’t know,
how much you don’t know of a world behind
that you don’t have
how much you don’t know of me
how much I would want, how much I would want that feeling
that for me you did not try/feel never

How much you don’t know of me
how much I would want, how much I would want that feeling
that for me you did not try/feel never

Listen
Before you go out,
You think back only to who we were ourselves.

did this out of curiosity and i must say it’s pretty spot-on… (you can do yours here):

Colorgenics Number: 50371246

You are longing for a little love and tenderness. At present you are feeling very sensitive and need a sympathetic shoulder to lean on. You don’t need any further stresses, strains or arguments so take a deep breath and relax.

Now there are many things in life that you require as essential to your well-being but, try as you may, something always seems to be getting in your way. A word of advice - ‘keep trying’ and you may be pleasantly surprised to see just how matters turn out.

It is amazing that you yourself believe that old ‘adage’ that you are a misunderstood person - and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that you feel the need to conform to society in general - but this situation leaves you ‘cold’ knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment, you seem to be just playing along.

You are pretending that the situation around you doesn’t matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don’t really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.

You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.

MUST. GET. SELF. OUT. OF. SLUMP.

gah.

/rattles self…

anyway…

• organized a gathering with my italian classmates - emails flying back and forth and as i was just about to suggest that we go eat at carnivore… one of my classmates said ‘i’m vegetarian’… /facepalms… end up having dinner at brotzeit instead… =P (looking forward to the real deal next year)
• did a mad dash trip to somewhere in malaysia… when i say mad dash.. i meant mad dash… left singapore ard 1-2pm… dasssssshhhhhh… stayed there for one hour max… dassssssshhhh (almost ran out of petrol - quite scary)… reached singapore ard 11pm and was super late for a bbq… lol
• thanks to my classmate’s recommendations, discovered laura pausini’s latest album ‘primavera in anticipo’ - love the single of the same name featuring james blunt!