caffetteria

i’ve been reading and reading steve pavlina’s blog – as i’ve mentioned in my previous blog post, he’s got alot of really good articles that challenges my thoughts about certain topics which give me alot to ruminate over… this post is really a collection of my thoughts that i had since starting on the reading so it might seem a bit disjointed to you…

its not the first time that i’ve started to think about personal development on a mental basis… i’ve always been somewhat curious and interested about this topic since i’ve seen the results my friend has… and lest you think its easy… well i can say that it’s really not so (requires alot of concious mental effort at the start) and i’m still putting in that effort everyday…

another thing about reading the articles is that it is making me think and look back (at least to the past year) on my own thoughts to identify which areas i can improve in… right now i’m working on my own personal list of priorities and focuses and there’s alot of mental unravelling that i have to do together with that as well…

one thing that i would like to focus on moving away from is ‘self-limiting thoughts’… that voice in ur head that tells u… ‘nah… its too hard… u’re not as good as u think u are…’ blah blah… i’m sure everyone has this tinny voice in their head that u wish would go away but it doesn’t… to me i feel that this voice – coupled with fear of the unknown and a whole host of other reasons – can be enough to stop me from moving forward… so i end up walking ard in status quo land… i know i’m there and i don’t like it… i want to move away from it… and this is an intention that i will try to keep conscious in my mind… which just happens to bring me to the point of this post (to myself) that intentions manifest outcomes…

every intention you have is a decision you make in ur head which will in turn effect actions that will lead you to manifest the results… i like steve pavlina’s explanation here (’cause-effect vs intention-manifestation’) where he uses the analogy of making dinner to differentiate between ’cause-effect’ and ‘intention-manifestation’…

If you want to achieve a goal you’ve set, the most crucial part is to DECIDE to manifest it. It doesn’t matter if you feel it’s outside your control to do so. It doesn’t matter if you can’t yet see how you’ll get from A to B. Most of those resources will come online AFTER you’ve made the decision, not before.

If you don’t understand this simple step, then you will waste a lot of time. Step 1 is to decide. Not to ruminate or to ponder or to ask around and see whether or not you can do it. If you want to start your own business, then decide to make it so. If you want to be married and have a family, then decide to attract a mate. If you want to change careers, then decide to do so.

It blows my mind that people think that something else has to come before the decision. People waste months trying to figure out, “Is this goal possible?” And this makes a lot of sense to do so if you’re at a certain level of consciousness. But all you’re really doing is creating delay, and you’ll simply manifest evidence to suggest that the goal is both possible and not possible. You think doubt in your head, you find doubt in the world.

yup gotta stop putting escape clauses/disclaimers/terms and conditions in my head!

my colleague sent me a link to this blog by steve pavlina a long time ago and i done the occasional reads here and there whenever i rem… and i want to share some of the really, really good topics here – i encourage everyone who stumbles upon my blog to go read them… they all resonated with me pretty well and i hope it will do the same for you.

in one of his posts titled ‘polyamory‘ i found this bit in there that made me think – it’s under Hurt:

What does it take to let go of that fear and pain and to summon the courage to take new risks in your relationships, in the hopes of experiencing ever greater levels of joy?

Basically, you just have to get back in the arena and do the best you can… without worrying so much about getting hurt. Over time your calibration will improve. You’ll get better at avoiding broken hearts, and you’ll learn to create joy more consistently. Unfortunately, you have to move through the hurt phase to get to the joy phase…

… Anyone who wants to live consciously must accept that getting battered and bruised is part of the game of life. It happens.

When you get hurt, the best response is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, tend to your bruises, consider what you’ve learned, and get back in the game with even more resolve than you had when you were knocked down.

Wounds heal. This includes the wounds you inflict as well as those that are inflicted upon you…

… Don’t try to grow a big callous around your heart to protect yourself from getting hurt. Don’t try to shield yourself from emotional pain. That will only make you cold and callous yourself. If you disconnect from your heart, you disconnect from everything. You’ll rob your life of all its delicious flavor.

Instead, take the hurt as it comes, and fully accept it. Listen to what the hurt is telling you, learn from it, and grow through it. See the hurt as a gift instead of a punishment. Tune into the joy behind the sadness.

The message of hurt is this: Despite what’s happened, can you still respond with love?

Even when you’re faced with negative emotions, can you see beyond them and consciously choose to respond with love instead of reacting with fear?

other posts of his that you should read: Judge Not, Self-Acceptance vs Personal Growth, The Joy of Sadness

they are really inspiring and gives you alot to think and mull over on those train rides to work…

really lovely and intense song… soul mate by natasha bedingfield

lyrics below:

Incompatible, it don’t matter though
‘cos someone’s bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You’re not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you’re in disguise

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There’s enough for everyone
But I’m still waiting in line

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They’re all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

its been a semi-trying time for me this past month or so coz i’ve been like a secret-keeper… and it can and do get quite draining… in fact i’ve been having the occasional headaches coz of the overabundance of information that i can’t tell anyone… plus trying to give advice and keep a rational head on for my friend… gah… all these thoughts swimming in my head… lol really really *facepalm*

and i can’t really rant them here… so it shall remain within me… its a lonely existence as a secret-keeper…

not goin to say much about this topic at this point… this is just for my own reference… hope it’ll bring back a smirk to my mouth when i read this post in the future… lol =)

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